True Happiness Regardless of Circumstance
In this life, we make an infinite amount of choices. The toughest of those become a complex series of decisions that either support the life we want to live or regress us into the patterns of yesterday. It’s that simple – we are either moving forward in life,or subsisting in mediocrity, seamlessly migrating toward the end of our physical existence. If we are to live a quality life, one filled with deep CONNECTION to those we love, to amazing work that fulfills us, to the universe at large and to our reason for being – our true purpose in life, we must make the decisions that are going to evolve our life in the direction of our dreams and our happiness.
There is a foundation to making this thread of decisions work in our lives – it is knowing the difference between the things that we can control and the things that we can’t.
There are only TWO THINGS in our life that are fully within our control, and everything else is outside of our control. When you can make this distinction, understand it, embrace it, accept it and live it, your life will change. If you are lucky, your life will change in a heartbeat. Suddenly you won’t feel helpless on those occasions when life deals you an unexpected blow. You can control WHO you choose to be, and the ACTIONS you take. Let me repeat that – you can control WHO you choose to be, and the ACTIONS you choose to take – and that is it, there is NOTHING ELSE within your control, no matter what the circumstance. Who we choose to be and how we act directly determines the quality of our life. It’s that simple.
Even in the moment I was diagnosed with cancer, I could 100% control who I was choosing to be. I could decide how to react to the doctor’s words, and I could make the decisions around my health and my future from a place of strength.
From the smallest inconveniences to the mind-blowing, life-altering challenges, our peace and joy (or lack thereof) depends on our decision to allow something outside of ourselves control our experience. If we focus, at any given moment, on only the things we can control and relinquish our attachment to everything else, life can be joyous, no matter what.
Like most human beings, I often faced life’s day-to-day challenges with an instantaneous response of concern, worry ,or stress – whether it was about my family, work, money… whatever. It’s how most of us live – reacting to thesituations around us. But now my inner voice reminds me that after facing death, the challenges pale in comparison – suddenly everything falls into perspective. Now I have knowledge, and on my best days, even wisdom. But we do not have to face death to be in that place.
If we look back at our life, it’s amazing to see all the things that we’ve overcome to get here. We’ve overcome incredible obstacles, and if you can put your challenges in context, you will realize that it has always worked out – life ALWAYS works out in the end. It may not appear to work out in the moment, or according to our agenda. The problems we face in life don’t always resolve instantaneously. If we want to be empowered and to create healthy responses to the obstacles as they are presented to us throughout our life, we have to decide – CHOOSE – who we want to be and how we are going to act – at all times.
In this very moment, we are the sum-total of everything that has happened to us through our entire life. All the years, the challenges, the family, the education , the jobs, the boyfriends and girlfriends, the financial burden we’ve been under – everything that’s happened up to this point has created who we are in this given moment. So our present moment isn’t really a present moment, it’s a reflection of the moments before. YOU get to decide who you will be in the next moment, simply by the choices you make right now.
If you’re in a bad relationship, just take responsibility for getting into it and staying in it. If you’re in a job that you don’t like, take responsibility for getting that job and who you’ve been that is created the toxic workplace for you. If we live in chaos or discontent on any level, we must own the path that brought us there.
But, if we take responsibility for all of our decisions and who we have chosen to be, then are suddenly EMPOWERED to move forward, to consciously affect change in our life – in this very moment. We can draw a line in the sand all around us, and we can leave behind any part of our life that’s not supportive or reflective, of who we want to be. And with that, we can make a new decision to live the life we choose to live. We can achieve true happiness regardless of circumstance.
Remember – you can go ANYWHERE from here!
Seth David Chernoff, Award Winning Author of
The Manual For Living Series
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